The Cost of Love

Wouldn’t you know it but my kids have introduced me to modern day rock-n-roll. Do they even call it that anymore?   Pop music would be the correct term, I am guessing.   Yes, I had my day – loud music, Walkmans (remember those?) and driving my parents crazy with that music made from the hands of Satan himself. So, I guess payback is in order. “Turn it louder, Mom!” they scream from the backseat. My quieted soul goes from the serene to the insane as the 103rd round of “Gangnam Style” causes the car to shake side to side.

But I have to admit, some of it is not that bad. Sometimes, I even catch myself asking the kids, “Who sings that song? Can we hear that one again?” My inner adolescent springs forth from hibernation and recalls the carefree and shameless moves I once so enjoyed.

One such song that has recently grabbed my attention is Pink’s “Try.” (Ok. Really. Who names their child, “Pink?” But that is beside the point. ) Have you heard it? The song’s refrain goes something like this:

“Where there is desire

There is gonna be a flame

Where there is a flame

Someone’s bound to get burned

But just because it burns

Doesn’t mean you’re gonna die

You’ve got to get up and try try try.”

I couldn’t have summed it up any better myself. That love costs us.   When we put our heart out there, when we allow ourselves to want something, the odds are likely that we just might get hurt. We will be let down. We will be disappointed. But that is ok. We survive. It’s just pain … the unromantic, unspoken part of the process.   (And Pink belts out that dose of reality in such a catchy way!)

Even my youngest, who is really onto me by now, told me that I would like this song. “Sounds like you, Mom,” she says. By now, she knows that all relationships involve mess and pain – it is just inevitable. She knows that feelings are just feelings – that they come and they go – and as distressing as they can be, they don’t kill you. And she knows that no matter what you have been through, you gotta keep trying … perseverance being the one of the most valued qualities a human can possess.

So, we risk … hoping that, despite the agony, we will find love. That we will discover the other or others worthy of receiving all the goodies our heart has to pour forth and that they, in turn, can generously share some of what they have to give our direction.   Along the way, I might get a few bumps and bruises … but that’s ok … sign me up anyway.   I don’t want to miss the ride. And while you are at it … turn up that music. Passion is served best in high decimals.

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