How to Find a Good Psychotherapist

How do you go about finding a therapist? I feel sorry for the lay human being. Really, I do. Finding a qualified psychotherapist is like picking a cereal in Aisle 16 of the grocery store. The choices are overwhelmingly too many. Furthermore, who has the time and the...

Am I Normal?

“I just want to be normal,” sayeth the umpteenth thousand patient on my green couch. If only you knew how normal you are, I say only in my head. That god-damn bill of goods. The one sold to us in magazines, on television, on Facebook, on shiny holiday cards. The one...

Just Fine

I’ve never been one much for superficiality. Those social niceties and exchanges that are well-intended but only serve to maintain a false pleasant front. In my world, such polished manners create disconnection, not connection. They make and maintain a pretend world...

Lunching Before It’s Too Late

I had lunch yesterday with my 91-year-old friend. It’s not what you might imagine. I did not go visit her in the nursing home. We did not dine over bland mashed potatoes and red Jell-O. No, not my friend. She invited me to lunch. She made a reservation. I dressed for...

Stable Misery

“Oh, yeah. That.” It often comes down to that. There is a certain kind of couple that finally make it past the door of a therapist’s office. A partnership locked in stable misery. They have a well-grooved path of relating that is wretched but can go on and on and on....