Look for the Blue Marker

“I see one up ahead. Thank God, we’re not lost. We’re still on the right trail.” I often use my blue marker metaphor with couples and individuals. You know. Those painted blue lines on random trees that offer relieving reassurance that you are not lost in the middle...

What is Your Trigger?

What is your biggest trigger? You know. The event, incident, button that when pushed, your insides explode. You lose all sense of rationality. Your grounded adult self flies out the window like a large pink gum wad onto the passing highway. Your regressed inner child...

Definition Day: Shame vs. Toxic Shame

Definition Day: Guilt: The painful feeling of regret and responsibility for one’s actions. I did/did not do something wrong. I shouldn’t have eaten the whole box of cookies. I should have gone to see my grandmother before she died. Guilt motivates me toward action. I...

Losing My Mama-Mama

I lost my mama this week. Not my mama. But my mama-mama. The woman that raised me. The one that shielded me. The one that fried chicken in Crisco (with milk gravy on the side) and made strawberry cake for my birthday. The one that hugged me every morning, so tightly...