Real Food

Real Food

“It’s great to see you. How have you been?” “Fine. And you.” “Great!” Silence. That awkward thud of what to say now. How many of those conversations are you about to have this week? With Aunt Susan, Uncle John, Cousin Bob and even your mother or sister. Or, here’s...
To Rest is To Rust

To Rest is To Rust

“To rest is to rust.” Said the chicken scratch on a random piece of yellow paper. We found it on top of the microwave a few days after burying our father. We laughed. His barely legible handwritten platitude could not have come at a better time. He leaves us suddenly,...
Holding Hands and Sticking Together

Holding Hands and Sticking Together

“Red Rover, Red Rover, Let Mary Ruth come over!” we screamed across the elementary school yard. The remaining girls in the line sighed relief. They were glad it wasn’t their name being invoked because our brutal reputation was solidly intact. This was long before...
Killing One Off

Killing One Off

I’ve lived five decades and never knew that the word “DECIDE” has the root ending from French -cide which derived from Latin -cida (“cutter, killer”), from casedo (“cut, kill”). Game changer. When we make a decision, we are engaging in the action of “cutting or...
Yours to Keep

Yours to Keep

“But, can I lose my gains?” sayeth multiple patients over my years as a psychotherapist. No, you can’t. You can’t unlearn what you know. You can’t turn off the lights to a dark room once you’ve found the switch. Growth is permanent. Now, can you distract, deny,...
Accountability

Accountability

Who are you at your relational worst? A crazed lunatic? An ice queen? A critical tongue-lasher? Shiny Teflon? An Olympic runner? In other words, what is your favorite adaptive behavior that you learned early and use adeptly and automatically? If you don’t know, ask...