Learning to Sit

Learning to Sit

I know you know what I mean. You’ve had the experience where you open up some heaviness in your heart. You tell a story – your story – of your humanness. A heartache. A loss. A tragedy. A surreal experience that you’ve endured. And you watch the face contort of the...
Feelings, Schmeelings

Feelings, Schmeelings

“How does that make you feel?” is a dead giveaway. Therapist-speak. The joke at any party. Yes, it is true. It is not without purpose that we therapists focus on feelings. Not only are they the juice of our internal life but they are the language of connection in an...
Walls vs. Boundaries

Walls vs. Boundaries

Do you know the difference between a wall and a boundary? Walls are solid and rigid. They keep others out and keep you trapped inside. Boundaries are flexible, changeable, and removable. They can be opened or closed at any given time and with any particular...
Talk About It

Talk About It

Inevitably, when working with couples, I end up assisting parents with their children. Besides, that’s what we relational life therapists espouse – evolving the emotional and relational health in the generational line. On two recent occasions, I reminded disheartened...
Your Inner Daycare

Your Inner Daycare

Whether we know it or not. Whether we want to admit it or not. We all are running an inner daycare. Our toddler and school-age children are running around inside. Mayhem. Each with his/her own agenda — “Feed me, feed me.” “Don’t leave me.” “Love me.” “Mine.” “I...
Are You Ready?

Are You Ready?

New Year. New You. New Decade. Amateur, really. Everyone is doing that. Most of the posts on Facebook are about some new diet, pill or workout mirror. Blah, blah, blah. I am all for fresh starts. You get one every day. A chance to redo and do better. Start over....