Accountability

Accountability

Who are you at your relational worst? A crazed lunatic? An ice queen? A critical tongue-lasher? Shiny Teflon? An Olympic runner? In other words, what is your favorite adaptive behavior that you learned early and use adeptly and automatically? If you don’t know, ask...
The Set-Up

The Set-Up

It’s largely about the set-up. Do not go into a difficult conversation with your partner without establishing a solid frame. This gives you the best chance to be heard and for the exchange to go well. 1. Ask if this is a good time. You don’t want to attempt an...
Falling and Getting Back Up

Falling and Getting Back Up

Don’t measure your success in life by how infrequently you fall. We all fall. Many of us many times. Rather, measure your success by how often you get back up and how long it takes you to do so. Because, setbacks are inevitable, yet they are temporary. You can move...

Accountability vs. Blame

“Is this the part where we blame the parents?” says one wise-ass patient, always trying – and needing – to predict and control the process. Yes, it is stereotypical and it is true. The tricky but essential part of healing – where we pass it back to no longer carry it...