One of the many reasons I love doing couples therapy is that I get to meet many “therapy virgins.” Folks that have never darkened the door of a therapist’s office because they never knew they needed to. And here they come. Begrudgingly, of course. Being dragged by a partner that is not happy with how they are showing up in the relationship.
“You go see someone or I am out!” A little leverage goes a long way.
They walk into my office. Sit as far away as they can from me. And always have that look. You know the one that has written all over their face – just get me out of here as fast as you can and make this as painless as possible.
I always start with that person. Seeing if I can crack their defenses with a little interest, human love and validation. And more times than not, the magic takes over. Some small part inside their well-practiced outside responds to the safe setting.
“Maybe this is the place and time I can get your attention,” the small wounded child whispers to the practiced functioning adult sitting as far away from me as they possibly can.
“Welcome to the sick bus,” I say.
That’s the one I am on. Much better to be on the sick bus and know you are sick than on the alternative – the sick bus and not know you are sick. We’re the fun bus. We keep it real. We know that no one escapes childhood without a few scratches and bruises. Better to face the truth and do your work. That way, everyone wins.
Here are a few signs and symptoms of unhealed trauma – both a “T” and a “t” ~~
- Sleep Issues
- Fear of abandonment
- Fear of closeness
Don’t wait until someone gives you an ultimatum. So many ways to skin a cat. All you have to do is show up with your hand raised high. Life is too short to not squeeze it for all its juiciness. Welcome to the sick bus.