I can’t say I really know from experience. But theoretically, with a few touchstones along the way, I will lay out my vision of what it just might look like to have most of my shit in one sock. Not perfectly, of course. Hell, that would be too boring and most assuredly, lonely. Let’s aim for good enough. We can chalk up one for psychological evolution while being imperfect enough to claim our humanity and manage a few good laughs on our own behalf.
So, here goes – the vista from the psychological climb:
I am my own best friend. I know my passions and I pursue them. I have things I look forward to. I have accomplished some of my goals in life. I am connected to my work. I have developed enough self-love that I can accept compliments without deflecting them. I can both hold love inside and receive it from the outside.
I have relationships. A few Mexican jail friends that would do anything for me at any time. A few that I dare to love deeply and they return the favor. A few that say “I love you” often and genuinely.
I am less independent than I used to be. I can ask for help and accept support.
I am emotionally literate. I have learned to navigate the world of feelings. I embrace and can share all my feelings.
I am grateful. I know that I can live a rich life with and without lots of money.
I no longer care what others think of me. That is their business, not mine.
I can afford to be generous. And I do so frequently and gladly.
I have created a place that feels like home. With all its literal and metaphoric implications.
I have raised my standards. I let go of what does not feel good.
I accept myself. I can look in the mirror and actually appreciate what I see because I have bridled my inner critic. I am clear about my boundaries and limitations. I let go of what I cannot change
I accept others. I recognize their limitations. I celebrate their successes. I have empathy toward what they are feeling and experiencing.
I have moved to drama’s sidelines. Being reactive is no longer appealing – in me and in my relationships. Setbacks and failures have become an opportunity for curiosity and self-growth.
I am self-empowered rather than a victim. I change what I can with a solutions- focused orientation, always willing to eat some humble pie by working my side.
So, there you have it. The ballpark of the center of health. You close? You in? You roaming the edges? If you are on the journey, that is good enough for me. All it takes is a little willingness, some bravery and a lot of hard work and perseverance. But it is worth it. It always is.