Find the Time

Find the Time

“When you coming home, Dad? I don’t know when. But we’ll get together then, Dad. I know we’ll have a good time then.” – Cat’s in the Cradle, Song by Harry Chapin Time – our most precious commodity. Brene Brown goes so far as to say that love is spelled t-i-m-e....
70/20/10

70/20/10

“But she might never change?” said the downtrodden husband on my new white couch.   I could feel his heart break from the required six feet across the room. I so wish I had better news for him. “70/20/10,” I responded.   Understandably, he gave me a look...
The Full-Range Marriage

The Full-Range Marriage

A “happy marriage” is a capitalistic concept. It sells expensive engagement rings and throws lavish weddings. But it sets up a bright-eyed couple for a disappointing and harsh fall that many never rebound. Rather, at best, marriage is secure and satisfying. The...
Use Your Words

Use Your Words

“How come we always talk about her frustrations?” he said yesterday in a couple’s session. “Have you told her you were frustrated?” I asked. He looked dumbfounded. I turned to his wife. “When was the last time he came to you and asked if you were available to talk?...
Emotional Party Trick

Emotional Party Trick

Remember, feelings in the moment coexist with a distinct yet chronic emotional state. In plain English, I can feel hate toward my husband or my child in a given moment. [If you are brave enough to admit such is true!] Those are temporary, fleeting feelings that come...