Definition Day: Shame vs. Toxic Shame

Definition Day: Guilt: The painful feeling of regret and responsibility for one’s actions. I did/did not do something wrong. I shouldn’t have eaten the whole box of cookies. I should have gone to see my grandmother before she died. Guilt motivates me toward action. I...

Losing My Mama-Mama

I lost my mama this week. Not my mama. But my mama-mama. The woman that raised me. The one that shielded me. The one that fried chicken in Crisco (with milk gravy on the side) and made strawberry cake for my birthday. The one that hugged me every morning, so tightly...

Growing Older While Growing Bigger

I think it was a Wednesday morning. My new, sweet Zen-like alarm app decided I needed to get out of bed. As I turned over to tell it to shut-the-hell-up, my stiffened knee refused to straighten. “Hmm.” I wondered, refusing to let a small bout of physical pain stop me....

Accountability vs. Blame

“Is this the part where we blame the parents?” says one wise-ass patient, always trying – and needing – to predict and control the process. Yes, it is stereotypical and it is true. The tricky but essential part of healing – where we pass it back to no longer carry it...

Just Be Willing

Maybe it’s me. Maybe it’s Washington DC. But I get many competent professional (and gorgeous) single women in my office trying to navigate and succeed at the dating game. I must say, I am glad to not be in their shoes. It’s a jungle out there. When asked, or when I...