Course Correction

“A little to the left, Johnny!” “Ah, too much. Back right a bit.” Evidently, if you are on a long flight cross country, the airplane is never on course. In fact, it stays off course. Those pilots we imagine eating chips and flirting with the flight attendants are...

Got Emotional Strength?

Got Emotional Strength? If so, you … Keep going when the odds are stacked against you. Feel all your feelings rather than avoiding the painful ones. Shut your mouth when you want to yell venom to someone you care about. Not take something personal when it isn’t...

Look for the Blue Marker

“I see one up ahead. Thank God, we’re not lost. We’re still on the right trail.” I often use my blue marker metaphor with couples and individuals. You know. Those painted blue lines on random trees that offer relieving reassurance that you are not lost in the middle...

What is Your Trigger?

What is your biggest trigger? You know. The event, incident, button that when pushed, your insides explode. You lose all sense of rationality. Your grounded adult self flies out the window like a large pink gum wad onto the passing highway. Your regressed inner child...

Definition Day: Shame vs. Toxic Shame

Definition Day: Guilt: The painful feeling of regret and responsibility for one’s actions. I did/did not do something wrong. I shouldn’t have eaten the whole box of cookies. I should have gone to see my grandmother before she died. Guilt motivates me toward action. I...