“But, I don’t want to be a burden!”

Haven’t I heard that too many times from one partner or another. Hell, I’ve even thought it myself. We don’t want to be a negative energy to someone else. We don’t want to overload, overwhelm or cause undue stress on our loved ones. They might move away from us or worst case, leave.

Be a burden.


Because, relationships are burdens. They require work, effort, time and attention. If your partner does not want to be burdened, he or she can choose to be single. Because, if he or she does leave you in search of a burden-less partner, good luck with that. It’s not out there. They will chase a fantasy and end up alone.

Because, you have the right to have needs and wants. It’s the definition of being human. Get over yourself.

Because, in your deciding for them that you are a burden, you don’t give them the right to make that choice. That’s called codependency. Maybe you aren’t a burden. Or maybe you are. And then, they can tell you that they aren’t available right now. Or, they are tired. Or, not tonight, honey. You end up honest with a dash of disappointment. Your partner gets to be authentic while having an opportunity to use his/her voice. We got a win-win in my book. Two human beings who showed up and negotiated the treacherous waters of emotional interaction.

So, be a burden. That’s your job.

Giving you another chance,