I know you know what I mean.
You’ve had the experience where you open up some heaviness in your heart. You tell a story – your story – of your humanness. A heartache. A loss. A tragedy. A surreal experience that you’ve endured.
And you watch the face contort of the person listening. They cringe. Shrink. Move away or run from the unexpected weight of your story. And, you are left naked in your pain while now having to reassure and take care of them.
You tapped into your awful by sharing your feelings and then your friend cannot bear the weight of your truth. He or she cannot sit with you in the ugly. The fact that life can be raw and real and cruel.
I hope you have a few folks in your life with wide emotional shoulders and big enough hearts to do life’s good and bad. Those that can sit with you and not have to change your mind, cheer you up, fix your problem or try and make it better.
Because that is not what we need in that moment. We need receiving, holding and compassion. Silence filled with heart-felt touch. Words of “I am here” and “tell me more.” Your pain is horrific and I will sit with you in it.
Because there is no fix. No making it better or taking it away. All we get is solid company of those that can tolerate our truth and not shy away.
Find those people. Be that person. Love in action.