Is being relational the same thing as being intimate?

Someone asked this great question in my training group this week.

First off, you do know me enough by now to know that being intimate is not about sex. Sex is sex. Intimacy is about emotional connection. Being seen, known and held by those you trust and hold close.

Back to the question.

The answer is no. One can be relational and not be intimate. However, (and this is a big however), one cannot be intimate and not be relational. Because intimacy requires safety. I need to know that you are not a danger to my heart if I choose to open it and show you its precious contents. And being relational creates that necessary safety. When I am relational, I act in a way that is moderate, respectful and non-violent. I keep in mind the three essentials players in relationship – you, me and our “we.” I am accountable for my behavior, feelings and choices and how they impact both you and our relationship.

So, get your relational house in order. Work your edges, boundaries, and self-esteem that you can be good enough ready for the prize journey of intimate connection.

For the rise of your life …