I am not a cyclist. Unless, of course, you count those unsightly occasional my dying in the back row of a Soul Cycle class that my daughter has convinced me to attend as “mother-daughter time.” Nope. Walking, swimming and yoga are more my taste.

But, from the cyclists I know, I’ve heard of this thing called drafting whereby cyclists rotate through a line, taking turns up front pulling those behind. Evidently, when you draft like this, by tucking in close behind another rider, you expend less energy. You lead, I follow. You do the work while I rest.

Sounds like a great idea to me. Taking turns holding the bag. One working while the other rests before switching off.

Except, I think this drafting thing is a terrible idea when it comes to our emotional and relational life. You feel, I’ll feel the same. You set the emotional pace, I will follow along behind. You put out your emotional temperature, I’ll follow suit.

Such a configuration makes for one emotional pile-up.

Inversely, life works better when I am separate from you emotionally. When I take personal responsibility for and thus, do the work of knowing what I am feeling and putting it out there, rather than lazily drafting off your emotional coloring.

Stay in your own lane, Bro. Because your path is yours and no one else’s. Makes for a much smoother ride.

For the rise of your life …

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