Our most intimate relationship has two purposes – to heal and to grow.

That’s it. Yes, we can have fun. Make babies. Split the bills. And do all other things “life” as a team. But the primary reason our partner exists is offer a safe space for emotional expansion in order that we may become our most alive self.

I know it sounds boring. But, really, it’s the cheapest therapy in town. And certainly comes with the most perks.

Let me explain.

When I give my partner something that he or she has longed for all their life, I am supporting his or her healing. Kaboom. Gold to the heart. Furthermore, by giving it, I am stretching to grow parts in me that have long been shut down. Ones that enliven me when reawakened. As a result, I grow. Bonus. And of course, vice versa. Everyone wins.

If your partnership is not challenging you in this way, not providing you with this unbelievable deal, there may be a few things to consider:

1. You are not going deep enough and settling for superficiality;

2. You have understandably been taught the wrong idea about the purpose of relationships (hint: roses, chocolate and candles are not involved);

3. Either you or your partner (or both) are resisting healing and growth based on conscious and unconscious fears;

4. You are with the wrong partner.

I say, why not ride the gift horse? It’s there for the taking. Hands down, it beats disconnection and serial monogamy any day.

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