Our most intimate relationship has two purposes – to heal and to grow.
That’s it. Yes, we can have fun. Make babies. Split the bills. And do all other things “life” as a team. But the primary reason our partner exists is offer a safe space for emotional expansion in order that we may become our most alive self.
I know it sounds boring. But, really, it’s the cheapest therapy in town. And certainly comes with the most perks.
Let me explain.
When I give my partner something that he or she has longed for all their life, I am supporting his or her healing. Kaboom. Gold to the heart. Furthermore, by giving it, I am stretching to grow parts in me that have long been shut down. Ones that enliven me when reawakened. As a result, I grow. Bonus. And of course, vice versa. Everyone wins.
If your partnership is not challenging you in this way, not providing you with this unbelievable deal, there may be a few things to consider:
1. You are not going deep enough and settling for superficiality;
2. You have understandably been taught the wrong idea about the purpose of relationships (hint: roses, chocolate and candles are not involved);
3. Either you or your partner (or both) are resisting healing and growth based on conscious and unconscious fears;
4. You are with the wrong partner.
I say, why not ride the gift horse? It’s there for the taking. Hands down, it beats disconnection and serial monogamy any day.