Do you know the difference between a wall and a boundary?
Walls are solid and rigid. They keep others out and keep you trapped inside.
Boundaries are flexible, changeable, and removable. They can be opened or closed at any given time and with any particular individual. Think of a gate with a gatekeeper. That gate has one job – “it is true or not true?” If what someone is saying is not true, that gate remains shut and I can get curious as to why someone might say or do something because it has nothing to do with me. It ain’t personal. But if it is true or partially true, I can open the gate and let that baby in. There is information there that might be useful to my growth.
With that healthy boundary in place, I get a vote. No one has the right to dictate my emotional state. I can open and close the gate at any time. It’s up to me.
Do your defenses keep you safe or do they isolate you and keep you lonely?
Love yourself enough to look for healthy ways to protect yourself that don’t close out all the good stuff.
Giving your relationship another chance,