To Confront… or Not?

To Confront… or Not?

In the unfolding of psychological story, there is an intersection I have been to many times with patients … do I, now as an adult, confront the one that hurt me as a child? Do I dare break the code of silence and say aloud what happened? This dilemma is complex and...
Swimming in Deep Waters

Swimming in Deep Waters

“Come on in! The water is grand!” says our friend, swimming amongst the brilliantly colored coral and playful dolphins. She would sure love some company as to not be swimming alone out there. The rest of us just wave from the ship’s deck. Margaritas – with salt, of...
SPEAK

SPEAK

It’s a cardinal rule in coupledom: SPEAK. If you choose to remain voiceless out of either avoidance, fear of conflict, unworthiness, laziness, ease or whatever other foolish excuse you can come up with, then you are not in relationship. You are only enabling your...
Defensiveness

Defensiveness

Defensiveness. What a powerful, common yet ineffective human reaction – at least when it comes to relationships. When we are defensive, what are we really saying as the sub-text? “I am not the bad guy here.” “Your reality is wrong.” “I am innocent.” “It’s you, not...
Give Him a Raise

Give Him a Raise

I told his boss to give him a raise. He deserved it. On this cold almost winter morning, two days post our meal of giving thanks, human harshness was not necessary. In fact, it was quite jarring. “Oh yeah,” I thought to myself upon witnessing verbal violence. “That.”...
The Emergency Vet

The Emergency Vet

“I think she needs to go the vet, Mom,” my teenage son yelled upstairs. I was already down for the night, ready to call this day done. I so wanted to pretend I did not hear him. But, our black lab would not stop throwing up. Brown puke was coming up consistently, like...