Never Easy — But Worth It

Never Easy — But Worth It

As my journey as a psychotherapist took me more and more into the relationship world, I simultaneously became more of a geek. I have embraced my inner scientist. Show me the data. Collect it over time. Look for patterns, systems, trends that will give both...
Falling in Love

Falling in Love

One of the best definitions of psychotherapy I’ve ever heard is that we take the parts of someone that aren’t likable and we turn them into someone that’s more lovable. Bring me your shit and we shall turn water into wine. Sifting through the no...
The Horse Blinders

The Horse Blinders

“Well, I would behave better if he did,” says the partner, justifying her poor relational move. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If only it were that easy. But, love ain’t easy. If we are going to stay in the game long-term, we must show up with generosity, regardless of what...
Not-So-Unconditional Love

Not-So-Unconditional Love

Here I go again, raining on your parade. But I guess better to hear from me than from someone more important to you … Unconditional love between partners does not exist.  Because, accountability counts. It is possible to erode love, whether slowly or quickly,...